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  • Writer's pictureSara Ricke

Do You Love Me? Check Yes or No.








Waiting on your RSVP to reply can be just as hard....


Here are a 5 simple things you can do to help your RSVPs come through! (and my advice for when they don't!)


Every bride wants to know the same thing – how can I get my guests to reply to their RSVP in a timely manner?!? It is the universal struggle...but one that you can help yourself work through to minimize stress and angst over the wait! So many times you NEED these numbers for caterer's, bar staffing, table set up...all the things. But, your guests probably don't even thing about those things! It just doesn't occur to them that you are indeed waiting on them to finalize these items! So, let's help you to help them!


  1. Make your directions clear. Let your guest know that you are looking forward to hearing back from them in your online wedding site ( so many people have these sites but don't utilize this opportunity to add this request!) We are seeing it added to the invitation ( of course), to the wedding site – and to the gift part of the wedding site. Just a Remember to RSVP {click here} is great!

  2. If you are having a plated meal - having your guests choose their meal option is a great way to encourage the RSVP – everyone wants to eat!!

  3. Adding another item they are 'requesting' onto their RSVP – A song request? A favorite question for the shoe game? A vote on the featured drink? Make it fun – and make it YOU. ( and get that RSVP in sneakily!)

  4. Offer lots of ways for them to RSVP – you've got it on the invitation, you've added it to your site, how about a link on your social media posts that takes them right there? And, we've also seen text messages asking – and offering to update the site with a simple yes/no...your guests aren't likely to ignore such a direct request from you!

  5. Enlist the mommas. Yep – that's bringing in the big guns, I know...but asking the MOB and MOG to jump in and help with a few well-placed inquiries can take the unknown into firm RSVP's!


So, you've done the things – you've asked the asks – and you are still sitting with a list of "I don't knows". Here's were you've got some choices to make – and to do what you think is best for you and your situation! Something to really consider is – do you want the number as close to exact as possible – or do you NEED the number.


It might be that you are limited in space, doing table assignments, and/or the cost of catering is pushing you to feel you need a number. But something to consider is "what happens if I don't have the number?". If it is annoying but not budget breaking what other options are available? Can you plan for an "industry average" of how many generally don't show up? 15-20% of invited is common. If there are 50 that you can't get a definitive answer from...and you go with this number – then 7-10 of them are likely to not come...and you can choose to have seating for say 40 of those 50...and food as well. We are blessed in NW Iowa I think that in general our costs per person is not dramatic and therefore being off by a few doesn't feel like it will break the bank!


Photo Courtesy of TFC Photography

Based on our experience – I think that the number of those essentially refusing to RSVP not coming is much higher than that overall percentage of guest's attendance number. The rest of your guests have RSVP'd – and these guests are just not willing to make the commitment – then we see that reflected in the number that make it the day of the wedding. Based on that, I would be comfortable with going 50% of those remaining numbers. So – in the 50 no RSVP example – I would plan for 25 of them to come.


Whatever route you take – know that things that seem so big leading up to the big day – are often footnotes in the wedding day. Situations like who RSVP'd and didn't are ones that only a few people helping you plan probably even know about, and unless you share that information with everyone the rest of your guests are blissfully unaware!


The highlight of the day is the joining of you two in your happily ever after – be sure to keep your focus on THAT – and the joy you share!


❤️

Sara

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